This humor is company specific - I wrote it when I was at an Internet startup ages and ages ago. It used to be better when I had actual customer names here but you get the gist. The people at that company can probably understand best. Its not bad as a piece of internal satire if you add your customer names into it.

  1. Insert Customer Name Here is a piece of crap! They have no honor!”
  2. “Puny Terran, We will never fix that bug”
  3. “By nagging me with the launch date, you have questioned my family honor. Prepare to die!”
  4. “You question the worthiness of my engineers. Draw your batleft, I should kill you where you stand!”
  5. Insert Customer Name Here is without honor!”
  6. “Answering your email is for the weak and timid!”
  7. “Your Insert Customer Name Here data is a piece of GAGH!”
  8. “Perhaps it IS a good day to Die! I say we ship!”
  9. Insert Customer Name Here has just dumped Stova Core!”
  10. Insert Obnoxious, Over Promising Salesperson Name Here must die”